Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Why Did I Get Married?

  Why Did I Get Married, Good question i think its one we all end up asking our self or its just me and We have a lot to work on. Not Sure. Do you ever find little things that just make you want to scream at them. I do. And it make me want to scream more when i'm mad, It may be the hormones or its just the fact that we need work i'm hoping its all these hormones i mean only 9 weeks till baby mason is here thats has to have something to do with it right? Who know. Its like coming home he does something that i do to like leave dishes around but then yells at me about it and says i'm messy. REALLY? Come on man. How do you hold your self together when all you want to do is scream I WANT OUT! I WANT YOU TO SEE!!! I WANT YOU TO REALIZE YOUR JUST AS BAD!!! Its like the facebook games He comes home, he needs time to unwind so i let him do whatever for an hour or two and then i want to talk and be with him but he would rather say "hold on baby i'm almost done".... Two hours later.. Me " Hey baby can we talk now or watch a movie?" Him " Yeah just another minute." No Screw that i'm sick of waiting i feel like my life is a waiting game i wait for him for forever you know this isn't how i imagined my life waiting all the time having to make sure he is happy before me Who wants a life like that. NOT ME! I love him i really do but love can only go so far it has to come from both party's and i don't think this is the life he asked for either 19 married and a baby on the way. Right now his next thought is work and when he can smoke his next cig and drink his next beer, And who am i to try to get him to grow up and want a family. 

  You know thinking about all this makes me think where will we be in a year, I mean i'm so grateful for my son but i would never want him to see this mess. What do you do. Leave, stay, Work it out or think its just all these crazy hormones. HELP!! I just want to scream, scream loud with everything i have for HELP!!! I feel lost, like i'm not this person i'm just someone watching this person fall down a long long black hole trying to help them but they are way to far gone. Sometimes i wake up thinking this feeling in the pit of my stomach of being unhappy and sad is just a dream. I SO WISH IT WAS. I thought they said the first year was the hardest well the year is over and past and i still feel like i'm waiting waiting for it to change over night and to wake up see that i'm crazy and life is Happy, Good!... 

  I feel like i have lost my best friend, life partner, and husband i'm not sure if its from me pushing him away or him seeing what he really got into. Who knows, i don't. I don't know my best friend anymore we don't talk they way we did in the beginning we don't look at each other the way we did. I say I love you but i feel like i'm saying it to someone i don't know i don't feel the feeling i use to when he said it i mean i know the puppy love feeling doesn't stay there for ever and that was long gone but i'm talking about the feeling of knowing no matter what happens that person is there for you that person loves you. I miss the feeling of home was where he was, Home was being in his arms. Maybe young and in love wasn't the best thing to throw into a marriage......

Friday, February 4, 2011

Marriage & Baby Mason.

Wow, quite sometime! I haven't been on here or written anything in so long and there has been so much that has changed i really need to keep coming back, I need to keep writing because when i write i feel so much better like what i cant say in person can be said here. Speaking of what can be said here, Cole and I are on vacation right now in Tucson Arizona I feel happy to be out of California but at the same time i just feel alone to. Cole and his family are so close its hard for me to add myself they have this thing there own jokes and it seems that its just them and i am that girlfriend that is around. I guess that could be my pregnancy hormones to but it has always felt like that i mean when we go back to my home i make sure he feels welcome and i try to have him to everything. Here i am sitting at his brothers house alone while they are out playing ball or something on the air force base i would never do that to him. Then again we have now been married for a year as of January 22nd and i have never felt more alone in our relationship. I think he wanted so much more then what we have now, How do you give someone more when you have given them everything you have. You Cant. You suck it up and you deal work harder and hope it works.

Other then all that great news My little bundle of joy is almost here! We are having a baby boy and naming him Mason. He is not here yet and he is already my best friend i talk to him so much and he kicks back . lol yeah i know sad but true. He has given me so much happiness already and he isn't even here yet. it is so amazing how much you can really love someone so much. Little mason will be here April 10th and i so badly want him here now but i know i wont be saying that when he is here haha.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Cyber Bullying

   If there is one thing that should be More talked about it cyber bullying i know who am i to just bring this up well believe it or not i have had my fair share or being picked on. As of now i have deleted my MYSPACE to get away from being picked on i am now just on FACEBOOK where i thought it was only my family, I have learned i have many of people that dislike me well more like one the others have not yet popped up but i'm sure they will. this person as gone as low as making a profile names Die Sam with a picture of a fat person. Now part of me wants to sit here and be like yeah it didn't hurt well i'm not going to lie it has i have asked this person to leave me alone and yet they continue. Now that i have shared my little story i think you should hear other

Megan Meier was a 13 year old from Missouri who struck up an online friendship on the popular social networking site MySpace with a person she believed was a new boy in her hometown. In actuality, the “friend” was a group of individuals, including adults, who were intent on humiliating the poor girl because of a friendship with another child that had gone awry. Megan was very upset when she found out the truth, then later committed suicide once the friendship had terminated. The horrifying case stunned the community and caused state government officials to pass some of the harshest cyber bullying laws in the country.

Kylie Kenney, an eighth grade student from Vermont lost two years of her life as a result of cyber bullying from classmates. From junior high through her sophomore year of high school, Kylie was forced to deal with websites created by her classmates that featured names like “Kill Kylie Incorporated” that were filled with threatening, homophobic remarks about the young girl. These hurtful kids obtained screen names with handles close to Kylie’s name and used them to make suggestive remarks and sexual advances on Kylie’s teammates on the field hockey team. As a result police filed charges of harassments against the individuals responsible.

In South Korea, a female college student was riding the train with her dog when it defecated on the floor of the subway car. After the girl refused to clean up the mess, another passenger on the train took her picture using her cell phone and posted it online. In the months to follow, it became an Internet sensation in South Korea and “Dog Poop” girl became the target of extreme harassment. Individuals found out her name and address and soon she was forced to withdraw from school and move to another part of the country.

This year in Clinton Missouri, charges were filed against a teenager who allegedly created a fake Facebook account to serve as a competition against a young girl who was interested romantically in a male student. The account was created by another girl who wanted the boy all to herself, the suit claims. As a result, the targeted individual underwent significant levels of stress which affected her studies and her ability to attend school regularly. The case is one of many that feature phony accounts on Facebook or MySpace that are used to harass young people or stir up trouble among friends.
Cyber Bullying has become a worldwide problem because of the difficulty to track its occurrences. It some cases it has been accepted as humor, but when is it taken to far? When a child has taken her own life because she was cyber bullied, we know it has been taken way too far.
Cyber bullying has been present in the 2008 presidential election with the slurrying of both presidential candidates John McCain and Barack Obama. Even the vice-presidential candidates Sarah Palin and Joe Biden have been victims of this abuse. These slanders wouldn’t technically be considered cyber bullying, but are loosely related. Senator Sarah Palin has received the worst of it with the creation of videos mocking her interviews on Saturday Night Live. NBC reports over 7 million views online, with millions more watching it on YouTube and Google video.

I am sorry to say but this has happen way to much to people and if needs to stop there is a point where being mean goes way to Damn far i am sick of it and i'm standing up because to me it has gone to far its gotten to the point where i'm getting phone calls saying i'm going to die. No one i don't care who you are or what you have done no one i mean no one should have to deal with it. So Stand Up and Put a STOP to this!!

Friday, September 3, 2010

♥ Surprise ♥

   What a past few months so looking at my blog i haven't posted in a long long long time last time it was June. Where have a i been, Well lets see Cole and i are learning to grow together and learning our relationship is OURS not other peoples its time now that we stop worrying about family in it. We are learning more and more about money and how to really use it ha. I know a little late but better late then never. Cole is doing great in work he is now on grad witch for some of y'all who don't know what that means that means he is grading the ASP, so he works two days and off two days. Let me tell you that took some time to get use to it was really hard at first and it seems it doesn't get any easier. 
  As for new news Cole's family now all know we are married i know i don't believe i told y'all that but for a while they didn't know Crazy i know but it was better for them. They now all know and for happy for the most part i think it was harder on his older brother and his girlfriend. Cole's older brother's name is Chris he is 24 and has a girlfriend who he has been with for 11 years now Chris has well not a guy for the word marriage as for his girlfriend she has been tiring all these years so you can only Imagen what was said when she found that me and Cole were married before them and knew each other less then they did. It was not pretty. I think Cole's dad took it even harder then his brother, his dad was married even younger then me and Cole now that's pretty young I think he was worried we would end up like him divorced. I can understand where he comes from my prenatal are divorced and remarried and one is divorced again i know how all this works and i know the odds are agents me and Cole but they way i love at it is its all about time love and really working on a marriage because no marriage is prefect and no marriage is Easy as much as all of us wish it was but think of it with fact that there are more happy times then bad one there is more love then you will ever realize and no matter how much your mad at one another you find a way to make the other laugh and you see this is way i married this person. So as for the odds with us we say We will show you! ( by the way there is a song i want y'all to listen to when your in a good mood or bad always makes me feel better its call Alright by Darius Rucker this song just makes me feel so lucky to have everything that i do have)
  So Now on to bigger and better things Cole and i got a little surprise on August 6, we found out that well..... are you sure your ready for this? i don't think you are... you sure? ok ok ok i will tell you We found out that there is a baby on the way. Yes! I said it I'm Pregnant! I know i'm just a little late telling you. Sorry... ha well for now i am 8 weeks and on Sunday (witch for some of you that don't know is in 2 days) I will be 9 weeks. I have the worst morning sickness (i know its more like all day sickness) GRR I look like i am 7 months pregnant but hey it all hit us different and i love ever minute of it. I think it will be a girl but i think we want a boy to tell you the truth we will be happy either way as love as it is health. If it is a girl we will name her Isabella Samantha Reynolds. For y'all that don't know Cole has a little sister who we love to death and her name is Samantha we thought because both of us have the same name we would keep it going who know its still early things change but i think it will work. We are thinking about the name Caven for a boy its not set yet but thats what Cole loves but the middle name will be Daniel. Ok so now lets think what else is new oh thats right we are moving off base we found a place that is prefect it has ac witch a lot of place's out here don't its cheap and we love it! other then that i would think i have let it all out. Just watch after i post this i'm going to remember something else but i will save it for next weeks post witch i swear i will write. I hope y'all have a great weekend. 
 Love, Laugh, Live


Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Its June!

     Its June , Yep the month of my birthday i'm only 18 and i feel old! Th month feels like it is flying by and it is.. My and Cole are way to busy and we are just trying to find time for us. I got a job i know crazzzy i am now babysitting and its a handful (makes me happy thank i don't have any times yet) Our house seem to always be messy along with my mind i cant seem to get thing in place being on our own seemed cool but being a grown up is very hard i have always rushed through my years as a teen and now i want to go back and the truth is i still am a kid we both are but i am happy still just a lot of work.
  On to a much different  note Cole's brother and his girlfriend and coming to stay with us. Part of me is happy and the other part feels like running away crying. Cole's broth has just now found out that we are married and he was upset but he just had to deal and now he cant wait to come out but Cole and I well we don't have a lot of money and it really doesn't even look like i'm having a birthday so i'm a little scared about how things will work out. I know i have to just look at the better things in life because things will get better. So change of subject again I am now selling things on Ebay WOOO! laugh out loud. Things are selling very well and i love the cash it has been paying out big bills. Well i guess thats all for now. But i know i will have more Xoxo

          "Its Not About The Breaths You Take It's About The Moments That Take Your Breath Away"

Sunday, June 6, 2010


So there is this thing i do with my husband and he cant stand it its called a MOOD SWING why i do it who knows but let me tell you when it happens i think he is ready to kill me. Ha. So we are now settled in our house and liking it a lot we have become very good friends with our neighbors they are a young couple like us both they are both marines. Just last night we party ed all night with them and today we went to the mall and out to eat it was nice. Now as i speak cole is outside our house with all of our neighbors drinking me i am here talking to you this now comes back to that think my husband hates called what again.. Oh thats right MOOD SWING, as to why i have one i really don't know but i have been in that mood where i miss home like crazy and my little sisters they are growing up with out me and i sit here thinking and wishing i could be there when they cry for me to be there i have always been big on family and now that i am so far way i cant help but wish that i was there more and more. Both of my little sisters are now 8. I was just on Facebook and wow they are so big and so smart. I am so happy for them and part of me is so happy that im not there so they dont make the same mistakes i did.
                                                  (found this and laughed so hard)                            
     So yet again this has taken me two days to right last night i went out and ended up hanging out with everyone and then bed, As for this morning well its been the worst day so far i have been very moody and it makes me so upset because my husband just sit backs and takes him he is so damn good to me. So we took a shower this morning and out of no where i start crying and cant stop... theres that MOOD SWING again. He turned off the shower and just sat there with me and let me cry he tried to make me smile but pms well it gets to a girl and everything he said just made me cry more i feel crazy. That thing that happens to a girl every month is the worst and it can make anyone crazy. So as i sat there and cried i couldn't help but see how lucky i have to have what i have. So i guess to end this all so i don't keep going on I am lucky and so thankful for all you guys who read my blog and for all of you who really know me and still put up with. <3

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Month past


        Crazy, Crazy, Crazy.. This has been my past month i know it has been so long sense i have posted. We have just moved into our new house and its perfect! Its a one bedroom town house the kitchen is bigger then our living room ( Cole loves it ) there is a half bath down stairs in the kitchen and then the bedroom is upstairs along with a full bath. ( Between me and you i was scared to move in with him i mean part of me was so ready for it but the other part didn't know what would happen i mean we had never been together long then a week or two a now i was going to live with him what the hell was i thinking? )  The move was good and setting up the house was way to much fun my own house no rules i felt like a kid in a candy shop until well reality set in and bills, dinner, cleaning it all came at once i was now a wife and it wasn't just me it was me and my husband i had to clean and make sure he was happy as i was. I was lucky in who i married i found a guy who care more for me then anyone in the world i found a guy who couldn't wait to come home to me a guy who loved to kiss me, loving me and just be with me even if it was watching a stupid chick flick that he could not stand! I found not only my best friend but the perfect guy!
      Ok so now that i have gotten all that mushy stuff out of the way, Life is very well so far we have already had some hard times but this comes with marriage and i know that love, faith, family and lost of making up is part of a good marriage. We have now been here for a month and i have been told over a billion times that i am way to young to be married, that i am way to young for any of this and our marriage will be a statistic ( the statistic in the marine core is that most young couples who got married on the guys boot camp leave will end in divorce) I can say that this will not happen to me and Cole. well i really hope it wont we have been through so much that i cant see my life with out him, he is my best friend he keep me in my place and is my happy place in this crazy world. 
    Ok so on with the day it has taken me two days now to write this i miss the days i could sit down and write away but i guess now i can do that when he is at work its just so hard i always have a million things to do! What a life thats i wouldn't trade for anything! Ohh but i did want to share some of my pictures with you guys i have them and they are just adding up! For all of you who were asking i did end up going to my grad i graduated May 21, 2010 GO ME! lol i am very proud of my self never thought that day would come. One thing i never thought would happen is me missing home so damn much i really do miss it along with my mom, dad and my baby girl shadow But i love going home to visit and they love it just as much i can honestly say life is good and i am blessed so much with such a good family and husband who is way to good for me, a mom and dad who love me more then the world will ever know!